If You Have No Faith, You've Lost

I Often Try To Tell Kids To Think About All The People Who Love You, Don't Cry Over The One Person Who Doesn't.

If I Use The Word Romance, Whether It's My Wife Or Not, It Does Not Mean Sex. We Can Use The Word Sex When Sex Is There.

George Carlin Is Brilliant With Words, And Johnny Winters Is Very Creative. It's Taking Something Common And Drawing Out The Humor, Being Clever With Words.

After Creating The Heaven, The Earth, The Ocean, And The Entire Animal Kingdom, God Created Adam And Eve. And The First Thing He Said To Them Was "don't."

A New Father Quickly Learns That His Child Invariably Comes To The Bathroom At Precisely The Times When He's In There, As If He Needed Company. The Only Way For This Father To Be Certain Of Bathroom Privacy Is To Shave At The Gas Station.