If You Have A Truly Big Idea,

It Is The Inescapable Duty Of Management To Fire Incompetent People.

The Best Ideas Come As Jokes. Make Your Thinking As Funny As Possible.

I Did Not Feel 'evil' When I Wrote Advertisements For Puerto Rico. They Helped Attract Industry And Tourists To A Country Which Had Been Living On The Edge Of Starvation For 400 Years.

There Isn’t Any Significant Difference Between The Various Brands Of Whiskey, Or Cigarettes Or Beer. They Are All About The Same. And So Are The Cake Mixes And The Detergents, And The Margarines… The Manufacturer Who Dedicates His Advertising To Building The Most Sharply Defined Personality For His Brand Will Get The Largest Share Of The Market At The Highest Profit.

The Psychiatrists Say That Everybody Should Have A Hobby. The Hobby I Recommend Is Advertising