If You Are A Hermaphrodite, It Is

This Is A Crucial Time In The Fight For Corporate Civil Rights. Just Look At The Hateful Signs At Occupy Wallstreet: 'corporations Are Not People!' Wow, I Thought We Were Past The Point In This Country Where Some People Aren't People Just Because They Have Different Color Skin Or Different Religion Or Were Born In A Lawyer's Office, Only Exist On Paper, Have No Soul And Can Never Die.

So, If I'm No Cheerleader Of Sports, Why Write A Chapter About It? Sports Do Have Some Positive Impact On Society. They Solve Problems, Such As How To Get Inner-city Kids To Spend $175 On Shoes. They Serve As A Backdrop For Some Of Our Most Memorable Commercials. And They Remain The One And Only Relevant Application Of Math. Not Only That, But We Have Sports To Thank For Most Of The Last Century's Advances In Manliness. The System Starts In School, Where Gym Class Separates The Men From The Boys. Then Those Men Are Taught To Be Winners, Or At Least, Losers That Hate Themselves.

What's The Worst That Can Happen? A Tidal Wave? Glaciers With Guns?

President Bush, Have A Hot Dog With Me.

No Matter How You Were Born, No Matter How You Identify, I Want To Be Clear That I Would Be Proud To Grind You Up And Eat You.