If We Took Away Women's Right To

Already Liberals Are Trying To Rewrite The History Of The Cold War To Remove Reagan From Its Core, To Make Him A Doddering B-movie Actor Who Happened To Be Standing There When The Soviet Union Imploded. They Have The Media, The Universities, The Textbooks. We Have Ourselves. We Are The Witnesses.

We Should Invade Their Countries, Kill Their Leaders And Convert Them To Christianity.

Teddy Kennedy's Big New Idea Is To Wheel Out His 18th Proposal To Raise The Minimum Wage. He's Been Doing This Since Wages Were Paid In Spanish Doubloons (which Coincidentally Are Now Mostly Found Underwater). Kennedy Refuses To Countenance Any Risky Schemes Like Trying To Grow The Economy So People Making Minimum Wage Get Raises Because They've Been Promoted. Kennedy's Going Down And He's Taking The Party With Him! (recognize The Pattern?)

Because Of All Our Presidents, Barack Obama Is The One Most Likely To Be Descended From A Slave Trader, Since Kenya Had A Major Slave-trading Port, And The Muslims Were Heavily Involved In The Slave Trade.

How About A New Game Show Called 'battle Begala?' Contestants Would Pick Any Obscure Bad Thing That Happened Anywhere In The World, And Paul Would Have 10 Seconds To Explain Why It Is President Bush's Fault.