If Presidents Can't Do It To Their

Being Short Never Bothered Me For Three Seconds. The Rest Of The Time I Wanted To Commit Suicide.

We Want To Get People Laughing; We Don't Want To Offend Anybody.

Dom Deluise Was A Big Man In Every Way. He Was Big In Size And Created Big Laughter And Joy.

Tragedy Is When I Cut My Finger. Comedy Is When You Fall Into An Open Sewer And Die.

If Shaw And Einstein Couldn't Beat Death, What Chance Have I Got? Practically None.