If People Were Like Rain, I Was

Dear Teens At Starbucks Wearing 'abstain From Sex 2 Attain Ur Goals' T-shirts: Doesn't It Depend On What My Goals Are?

That Was Part Of Her, And You Used To Know It. It's Like Now You Only Care About The Alaska You Made Up.

You Will Not Kill My Girlfriend Today, International Terrorists Of Ambiguous Nationality!

The Truth Hurts Because It's Real. It Hurts Because It Mattered. And That's An Important Thing To Acknowledge To Yourself.

You Can't Dingleberry That! That's A Flagrant Misuse Of The Dingleberry!