If Only Opening A Vitamin Water Could

I Think When I Started Doing Stand-up, That's When I Really Tried To Question Everything In My Belief System Which Is - I Think A Pretty Important Part Of Being A Comedian Is Really Questioning Things.

No Matter How You Feel About Your Extended Family Or Family Gatherings You Will Be Attending. This Is Because Now The Ultimate Reason For Attending Family Gatherings Is For Your Children To Have The Time Of Their Lives With Their Cousins. Little Kids Love Their Cousins. I’m Not Being Cute Or Exaggerating Here. Cousins Are Like Celebrities For Little Kids. If Little Kids Had A People Magazine, Cousins Would Be On The Cover. Cousins Are The Barometers Of How Fun A Family Get-together Will Be. “are The Cousins Going To Be There? Fun!

I Think Stand-up Comedy Is This - It's This Kind Of Indulgence And Narcissism.

I See Some People With Glasses Here, I Trust People With Glasses, Don't You? But If You're Wearing Your Glasses Like This ... "get Away From 'em!"

I Went To A Catholic University And There's Something About Being A Catholic-american. You Know, St. Patrick's Day Is, I'm Irish-catholic. There's Alcoholism In My Family. It's Like I've Got To Be Catholic, Right?