If My Jeans Could Talk, They'd Plead

The Last Thing My Kids Ever Did To Earn Money Was Lose Their Baby Teeth.

A Terrible Thing Happened To Me Last Night Again—nothing.

Your Husband Is Lazy If Coffee Doesn't Keep Him Awake - Even When It's Hot And Being Spilled On Him.

I'm From Such An Old Family, It's Been Condemned.

I Like To Serve Chocolate Cake, Because It Doesn't Show The Dirt.