If My Jeans Could Talk, They'd Plead

Maybe It's True That Life Begins At Fifty. But Everything Else Starts To Wear Out, Fall Out, Or Spread Out.

Cleaning Your House While Your Kids Are Still Growing Up Is Like Shoveling The Walk Before It Stops Snowing.

To Get A Roaster Clean, Send Something Like Baked Apples In It To A Neighbor. Neighbors Always Return Pans Spotless, And You Won't Have To Use A Blow Torch On It Like You Usually Do.

I'm Beginning To Have Morning Sickness. I'm Not Having A Baby, I'm Just Sick Of Morning.

Do I Believe In Witchcraft? I'm The Result Of It.