If Kitchener Was Not A Great Man,

What A Pity, When Christopher Colombus Discovered America, That He Ever Mentioned It.

[to Jean Harlow, Who Repeatedly Mispronounced Her First Name:] No, No, Jean. The T Is Silent, As In Harlow.

I Have Always Wanted To Be A Man, If Only For The Reason That I Would Like To Have Gauged The Value Of My Intellect.

It Is Always Dangerous To Generalize, But The American People, While Infinitely Generous, Are A Hard And Strong Race And, But For The Few Cemeteries I Have Seen, I Am Inclined To Think They Never Die.

The Almighty Is A Wonderful Handicapper: He Will Not Give Us Everything.