If Kitchener Was Not A Great Man,

My Dear Old Friend King George V Told Me He Would Never Have Died But For That Vile Doctor, Lord Dawson Of Penn.

[to Jean Harlow, Who Repeatedly Mispronounced Her First Name:] No, No, Jean. The T Is Silent, As In Harlow.

Although I Am Not Stupid, The Mathematical Side Of My Brain Is Like Dumb Notes Upon A Damaged Piano.

She Spends Her Day Powdering Her Face Till She Looks Like A Bled Pig.

Haunted From My Early Youth By The Transitoriness And Pathos Of Life, I Was Aware That It Is Not Enough To Say "i Am Doing No Harm," I Ought To Be Testing Myself Daily, And Asking Myself What I Am Really Achieving.