If I Were A Headmaster, I Would

Me Is The Only One What Won't Be Gobbled Up Because Giants Is Never Eating Giants

...there Are No Secrets Unless You Keep Them To Yourself, And This Was The Greatest Secret I Had Ever Had To Keep In My Life So Far.

Sex Is Like Nose Picking. It's Fine As Long As You Practice It Yourself, But It's Disgusting Watching Someone Else Doing It.

He Turned And Reached Behind Him For The Chocolate Bar, Then He Turned Back Again And Handed It To Charlie. Charlie Grabbed It And Quickly Tore Off The Wrapper And Took An Enormous Bite. Then He Took Another…and Another…and Oh, The Joy Of Being Able To Cram Large Pieces Of Something Sweet And Solid Into One's Mouth! The Sheer Blissful Joy Of Being Able To Fill One's Mouth With Rich Solid Food! 'you Look Like You Wanted That One, Sonny,' The Shopkeeper Said Pleasantly. Charlie Nodded, His Mouth Bulging With Chocolate.

All Through My School Life I Was Appalled By The Fact That Masters And Senior Boys Were Allowed Quite Literally To Wound Other Boys, And Sometimes Very Severely.