If I Was A Waitress, I Was

You Can't Be A Jerk In Order To Be A Good Writer.

I Can Write For Any Magazine Now, In Any Voice. I Can Do It In Two Hours, I Could Do It In My Sleep, It's Like Writing A Grocery List.

Well, I Always Say That The Two Things I Was Most Disastrous At In My Life, Being A Teenager And Being A Wife, Were The Two Things I Really Wound Up Cashing In On When I Was Writing Fluffy Magazine Pieces.

Whenever I Saw Her, I Felt Like I Had Been Living In Another Country, Doing Moderately Well In Another Language, And Then She Showed Up Speaking English And Suddenly I Could Speak With All The Complexity And Nuance That I Hadn't Realized Was Gone. With Lucy I Was A Native Speaker.

If Anybody Had Shown Me The Paperwork For How My Life Was Going To Look In Five Years, I Would Have Said, "no. That Is Not Where I Want To Go."