If Germans Are Happy It Means Everyone

I Love The Internet, And The Internet Loves Me Back. Why Else Would It Offer Me So Much Sex?

Last Night Was Super Tuesday - A 10-state Gop Primary Orgy. A Big, Sweaty Pile Of Lever-yankin Republican Voters. And Like Most Orgies, It Involves A Bunch Of Middle Aged Guys Who Are Not Appealing To Women.

What Does Karl Marx Put On His Pasta? Communist Manipesto!

And When Those Bombs Went Off, There Were Runners Who, After Finishing A Marathon, Kept Running For Another Two Miles To The Hospital To Donate Blood. So, Here's What I Know - These Maniacs May Have Tried To Make Life Bad For The People Of Boston, But All They Can Ever Do, Is Show Just How Good Those People Are.

Here's How It Works: The President Makes Decisions. He's The Decider. The Press Secretary Announces Those Decisions, And You People Of The Press Type Those Decisions Down. Make, Announce, Type. Just Put 'em Through A Spell Check And Go Home. The Greatest Thing About This Man Is He's Steady. You Know Where He Stands. He Believes The Same Thing Wednesday That He Believed On Monday, No Matter What Happened Tuesday. Events Can Change; This Man's Beliefs Never Will.