If George W. Bush Is Given A

Politics Is Show Business For Ugly People.

North Carolina Senator Jesse Helms Has Signed A Deal With Random House To Write His Memoirs. Scholars Will No Doubt Benefit From The Reflections Of A Man Who Was Wrong On Every Major Issue For 40 Years. Helms' Aides Say The Proceeds From The Book Will Be Donated To The Non-profit Jesse Helms Center Where They Apparently Have More Experience Burning Than Publishing Them.

If My Wife Hears One More Report That I'm Joining Hillary's Campaign I'm Going To Have To Go In The Pundit Protection Program.

I Try Hard To Be A Good Catholic.

If George W. Bush Is Given A Second Term, And Retains A Republican Congress And A Compliant Federal Judiciary, He And His Allies Are Likely To Embark On A Campaign Of Political Retribution The Likes Of Which We Haven't Seen Since Richard Nixon.