If Anger Were Mileage, I'd Be A

How About "diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friends"? Nope. It Should Be Switched Around And Pointed Out, Instead, That Your Best Friends Are Diamonds.

I Have An Intimate Relationship With Books. After All, I Take Them With Me Into The Bathtub-not An Invitation I Offer Lightly.

We Should Remind Ourselves That Laughing Together Is As Close As You Can Get To Another Person Without Touching, And Sometimes It Represents A Closer Tie Than Touching Ever Could.

...there Is A Celebrated Aphorism Insisting That The Best Way To Live Is To 'work Like You Don't Need The Money, Dance Like Nobody Is Watching, And Love Like You've Never Been Hurt.'...after Years Of Hearing And Reading These Lines I Have Decided To Tell The Truth: The Original Version Is Wrong. There Is A Grave Error In The Wording Of This Adage. The Correct Version Should Go As Follows: Love Like You Don't Need The Money, Work Like Nobody Is Watching, Dance Like You've Never Been Hurt. See? Doesn't That Make More Sense?

Once We Hit Forty, Women Only Have About Four Taste Buds Left: One For Vodka, One For Wine, One For Cheese, And One For Chocolate.