I Would Never Write A Memoir, Because

I Try To Stress To My Children That Buying Something Never Leads To True Happiness.

In The End, We Know What Makes Us Happy. We Also Know What Makes Us Unhappy. That's The Irony. We Know And Yet We Still Mess It Up. That's Part Of The Human Condition, No, And Why We Need To Work On It.

My House Has Too Many Distractions. There's The Email. There's Checking My Amazon Ranking. I Know I'm The Only Author Who's Ever Done That, Ever. There's The Fax. Too Many Distractions. I Like To Go Out And Write.

A Novel Is Like A Sausage. You Might Like The Final Taste But You Don't Want To See How It Was Made.

A Dancer On Break Approached Him. She Smiled. Each Tooth Was Angled In A Different Direction, As If Her Mouth Were The Masterwork Of A Mad Orthodontist. "hi," She Said. "hi." "you're Really Cute." "i Don't Have Any Money." She Spun And Walked Away. Ah, Romance.