I Wish We Had A Dog In

There Are So Many Talented Young Writers Named Jonathan, With Whom By Comparison I Suffer Terribly.

I Grew Up In Northern New Jersey - The Banlieue Of New York - And I Now Live In Brooklyn. I Am Separated From My Parents By About 50 Miles, But Really There Is Almost No Distance Between Us. I Speak To Them Nearly Every Day.

I'm Actually Much More Shy And Self-conscious Than People's Perception Of Me.

How Terrible To Be Alcoholic. You Just Want To Quietly Soothe And Maybe Poison Yourself, But You End Up Poisoning Those Around You As Well, Like Trying To Commit Suicide With A Gas Oven And Unwittingly Murdering Your Neighbors.

I'm On The Verge Of A Total Breakdown. Sciatica. Taxes. Cars. Fleas, Possibly. It's An Absurd Existence.