I Will Not Drink More Than Fourteen

It Is Horrid To Smirk.

As Women Glide From Their Twenties To Thirties, Shazzer Argues, The Balance Of Power Subtly Shifts. Even The Most Outrageous Minxes Lose Their Nerve, Wrestling With The First Twinges Of Existential Angst: Fears Of Dying Alone And Being Found Three Weeks Later Half-eaten By An Alsatian.

I Made My Excuses And Left, Thinking, Really, After A Certain Age, People Are Just Going To Do What They're Going To Do And You're Either Going To Accept Them As They Are Or You're Not.

There Are So Many Images Pushed At Women And So Many Ideas Of What You're Supposed To Be. I Think There's Too Much Of This Superwoman, This Woman With A Bottom Like Two Billiard Balls. There's No Real Celebration Of Just Being A Person.

I Had My Daughter By C-section, So Knew When And Where She Was Going To Be Born. I Got Freakishly Organized And Prepared A Group E-mail Birth Announcement. Unfortunately, I Accidentally Pressed Send All. I Then Had To Send Another E-mail Saying, "i'm Really Sorry But I Haven't Actually Had The Baby Yet." Then, When I Actually Did Have The Baby, I Felt Too Embarrassed To Send Another E-mail Saying, "i've Definitely Had The Baby Now."