I Will Never, Ever Drink Whiskey Again.

Or Perhaps It Is Some Combination Of Spirit And Desire, Love And Hope, Some Alchemy That We Each Possess And Can Put To Use, If We First Know Where To Look Without Flinching.

They Misspelled 'party.' How Evil Genius Can They Be?

I've Had So Many Bikini Waxes, I Cry Every Time I See A Popsicle Stick.

Because There's Nothing Wrong With You... That Can't Be Fixed.

He Told Me That Once, In The War, He’d Come Upon A German Soldier In The Grass With His Insides Falling Out; He Was Just Lying There In Agony. The Soldier Had Looked Up At Sergeant Leonard, And Even Though They Didn’t Speak The Same Language, They Understood Each Other With Just A Look. The German Lying On The Ground; The American Standing Over Him. He Put A Bullet In The Soldier’s Head. He Didn’t Do It With Anger, As An Enemy, But As A Fellow Man, One Soldier Helping Another.