I Watch People's Behavior And Notice Things.

Here's The Analogy. If My Body Were A Car, I'd Be Thinking About Trading It In Around Now. I Would Like To Upgrade. I Would Be Actually On The Lot Somewhere And Some Guy With A Loud Sports Jacket Would Be Sizing Me Up...kinda Lookin' Around Goin--maybe Kickin My Knees. Looking Behind Me Going: That Looks A Little Bashed In Back There...yeah. You Mind If I Check Under The Hood?" 'well Yes I Do! Thank You Very Much.

I Cannot Believe They Haven't Yet Come Up With A Better Screening Process Than The Mammogram. If A Man Had To Put His Special Parts Inside A Clamp To Test Him For Anything, I Think They Would Come Up With A New Plan Before The Doctor Finished Saying, "put That Thing There So I Can Crush It.

In The Beginning There Was Nothing. God Said, 'let There Be Light!' And There Was Light. There Was Still Nothing, But You Could See It A Whole Lot Better.

I Think The Hard Thing About This Job [stand-up] I Mean, I Think This Part Is Great But That The Traveling Is Y'know, 'cause 'cause I'm Gone A Lot From Home And This Time I'm Out For Three-and-a-half Weeks Without Going Home, And That's Hard, To Be Gone Three-and-a-half Weeks 'cause Then I Have To Ask My Friends, "would You Mind Going To The House And Watering The Plants, And Turn Some Lights On And Make It Look Like Somebody's Home, And Make Sure That The Mobile Over The Crib Isn't Tangled Or The Baby's Gonna Get Bored.

I'm Not Going To Say Who Looks The Most Beautiful, But It's Clear. It's Jared Leto. I Mean, He's The Prettiest. Boy Is He Pretty