I Was Worried That, As A College

I Always Worry That Knowing Too Much About A Novel Or A Story Early On In Writing Will Close It Down - It Feels Fatalistic In Some Way.

I Read A Lot, But At The Same Time I'm Not A Particularly Good Or Diligent Or Discriminating Reader. I Go Through Maybe Close To A Thousand Or More Books A Year, But A Lot Of Times I'll Only Read Bits And Pieces Of Any One Individual Text.

So This Was What It Felt Like To Lose Yourself. Again. To Let Go Of Your Future And Let It Rise Up And Up Until Finally You Couldn't See It Anymore, And You Knew That You Had To Start Over.

I Never Wanted To Get To A Point In My Life Where I Knew What Was Going To Happen Next. I Felt Like Most People Just Couldn't Wait Until They Found Themselves Settled Down Into A Routine And They Didn't Have To Think About The Next Day, Or The Next Year, Or The Next Decade Because It Was All Planned Out For Them. I Can't Understand How People Can Settle For Having Just One Life.

I Know A Lot Of People Don't Listen To Music When They're Writing Because It Distracts Them, But For Me It's Almost A Way To Get Into The Self-hypnotic State That I Need To Be In To Write.