I Was Watching The Animal Planet. Did

I Curse In Everyday Life, But Usually When I Stub My Toe. The Topics I'm Discussing, It's Not Necessary To Curse. I Found [cursing] Is A Sign That A Joke Is Not Finished Or Well-written.

I'm Not A Foodie; I'm An Eatie. I Don't Have Anything Against Foodies. I Just Don't Have The Time Or The Interest To Do That Much Research.

When People Look And Decide They Have Nothing In Common With Me - I'm 43, Balding, Blond, Whatever - There's Something Absolutely Invigorating About Winning Them Over. Even If It's Eight People From Sweden Who Don't Understand What I'm Talking About.

Why Would A Lazy Guy Become A Parent Of Five? Then Again, Why Would Creative People Who Inherently Don't Like Change And Criticism Become Writers, Actors, Or Comedians? There's Something About This Process. I Joke About It: My Kids Have Made Me A Better Person, And I Only Need, Like, 34 More Of Them To Be A Really Good Guy.

Isn't It Strange -- When You're Single, All You See Is Couples, And When You're Part Of A Couple, All You See Are Hookers.