I Was Made Fun Of A Lot

Being A Best-selling Author Just Means The World For Me. Some Of My Happiest Memories, Growing Up, Are Being At Book Stores And Reading Books I Couldn't Afford, As A Kid, And The Midnight Parties, Waiting For The Next Harry Potter Book. The Fact That I Have That Straw In My Cap Means More To Me Than Anything I've Ever Accomplished Before.

Oh, I Have This Feud Going With The L.a. Unified School District, Because I Keep Getting These Phone Calls Saying My Daughter Keeps Missing Classes, I Mean, At All Hours Of The Night, I Had Like, Two Calls This Morning And I Keep Calling Saying I Haven't Got A Daughter!

I Just Downloaded The New Alvin And The Chipmunks Album! They're The Only Guys That Make Music In My Key!

I Do All Kind Of Fun Things When I'm Unconscious.

I've Been Pushed Down Many Flights Of Stairs In My Time, But I Always Manage To Find An Elevator