I Was Going To Have Cosmetic Surgery

Buying Something On Sale Is A Very Special Feeling. In Fact, The Less I Pay For Something, The More It Is Worth To Me. I Have A Dress That I Paid So Little For That I Am Afraid To Wear It. I Could Spill Something On It, And Then How Would I Replace It For That Amount Of Money?

My Father Watched Football With The Sound Off Because He Lived In Fear Of Hearing The Voice Of Howard Cosell.

If A Man Prepares Dinner For You And The Salad Contains Three Or More Types Of Lettuce, He Is Serious.

I Can See Close Up And My Husband Can See Far Away, So We're Covered. He Tells Me Who's In The Movie And I Tell Him What's In His Sandwich. Together We're Human Bifocals.

Men Don't Feel The Urge To Get Married As Quickly As Women Do Because Their Clothes All Button And Zip In The Front. Women's Dresses Usually Button And Zip In The Back. We Need Men Emotionally And Sexually, But We Also Need Men To Help Us Get Dressed.