I Was Born In Washington, D.c., And

I Think Janeane Garofalo Is Incredibly Funny, And I Love Dennis Miller.

My Fantasy Life Made Me Survivor. One Day I Knew That Me, This Skinny, Ugly Girl Who Was Only Invited To Slumber Parties When They Were Forced To - Someday I Knew I Would Be Someone. That Was My Driving Goal. It Wasn't To Be Famous. I Didn't Want Furs And Signing Autographs, I Didn't Care About Any Of That. I Wanted To Be Someone Other Than Myself.

In Some Roles I Have To Wear Fur, And I Always Make Sure It's Fake, Like In Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Faux Fur Is Great Because It Shows People That Faux Can Look Fabulous.

I Was Such A Dork. I Was Too Big. I Was Really Gangly.

Right Now One In Three Teenagers Meets The Medical Criteria For Addiction, Which Is Scary. I'm So Driven Because When I Walked Into Rehab, I Was Like, "am I Still Drunk? Did The Guys Give Me The Wrong Address? Am I At A Summer Camp?" And It Kills Them. Deaths Attributed To Drugs And Alcohol Have Overtaken All Other Emergency-room Deaths.