I Was An Infinitely Hot And Dense

People Have No Idea How Much Work It Is For A Man To Produce An Ejaculation. You Have This Seminal Vesicle Churning Out This Fluid, The Prostate Gland Producing An Alkaline Solution. It's Like Having Five Iron Chefs In Your Crotch Working To Cook Up This Stuff.

As Far As What I Do, My Value As A Writer Is Certainly Not To Try To Recapitulate A 19th Century Form. Certain Styles Of Narrative Don't Conform To My Style Of Experiencing The World.

My Relationship With My Readers Is Somewhat Theatrical. One Of The Main Things I Try To Do In My Work Is Delight My Readers.

I Think People Got In Touch With Me Either Knowing My Work, Or Probably More Frequently Just Knowing A Plot Or Sort Of Buzz About Something I Did And Sort Of Saying, "get That Guy That Writes The Crazy Stuff In Here."

Yo! You’re My Dope Dealer Not My Thesis Adviser. If I Wanted Your Opinion About My Dissertation, I’d Have Asked For It, Motherfucker!