I Was A Dishwasher At One Of

My Dad Grew Up Basically In A Hut In Taiwan Without Enough Food To Eat. And Within One Generation His Son In America Gets To Do A Comedy Show About Whatever He Wants.

At The Risk Bragging, One Of The Things I'm Best At Is Riding Coattails. Behind Every Successful Man Is Me, Smiling And Taking Partial Credit.

I Have An Amazing Metabolism. I'm Sure That'll Be Gone One Day. But I Like To Exercise, Too, So I Don't Think I'll Ever Get Really Fat.

Instead Of Yelling Your Opinion, Or Telling People To Shut Up, Or Engaging In This Clickbait-internet Culture, Have A Dialogue With Someone And Ask People Questions And Listen To What They Have To Say.

I Have Never Taken The High Road, But I Tell Other People To 'cause Then There's More Room For Me On The Low Road.