I Want An Oompa-loompa!' Screamed Veruca.

She Might Even Be Your Lovely School-teacher Who Is Reading These Words To You At This Very Moment. Look Carefully At That Teacher. Perhaps She Is Smiling At The Absurdity Of Such A Suggestion. Don't Let That Put You Off. It Could Be Part Of Cleverness. I Am Not, Of Course, Telling You For One Second That Your Teacher Actually Is A Witch. All I Am Saying Is That She Might Be One. It Is Most Unlikely. But--here Comes The Big "but"--not Impossible.

And Don’t Worry About The Bits You Can’t Understand. Sit Back And Allow The Words To Wash Around You, Like Music.

Both Matilda And Lavender Were Enthralled. It Was Quite Clear To Them That They Were At This Moment Standing In The Presence Of A Master. Here Was Somebody Who Had Brought The Art Of Skulduggery To The Highest Point Of Perfection, Somebody, Moreover, Who Was Willing To Risk Life And Limb In Pursuit Of Her Calling. They Gazed In Wonder At This Goddess, And Suddenly Even The Boil On Her Nose Was No Longer A Blemish But A Badge Of Courage.

The Greatest Secrets Are Always Hidden In The Most Unlikely Places.

Sex Is Like Nose Picking. It's Fine As Long As You Practice It Yourself, But It's Disgusting Watching Someone Else Doing It.