I Wake Up Every Day And I

We Live In A Racist World. Everywhere There Is Racism. We Say To White People, "you Really Have To Examine How You Behave In The World. You Are Responsible For Deconstructing Internalized Racism And Being Part Of A Ongoing Process Of Decolonizing Yourself.

Each Time I Had Five Hours Of The Poison Going Into Me, I Just Pictured Everything That Needed To Be Burned Away. I Pictured Wars, I Pictured The Things My Father Had Done To Me, I Pictured Brutality, And When It Was Over, I Am Light.

Look, You Do Everything In Stages, Right? I Don't Think Everything Happens At Once. There Are So Many Layers We Are Constantly Chipping Away At, Down And Down And Down, Closer And Closer To What Would Be The Body. I Think What Happened With Cancer, Was That I Woke Up Out Of Nine Hours Of Surgery And I Was Body. I Was Just Body.

I Think To Be Honest, That Being Is Inside. I Meet That Being In So Many People That I Meet Everywhere In The World And When I Do Meet That Being, In Other People, What I Want To Ask Is "how Do We Keep Opening Ourselves So That We Can Become As Vulnerable And As Willing To Live In The Deepest Complexity And Ambiguity And Truth That We Can?

Looking At It, I Started Crying. Maybe It Was Knowing That I Had To Give Up The Fantasy, The Enormous Life Consuming Fantasy , That Someone Or Something Was Going To Do This For Me – The Fantasy That Someone Was Coming To Lead My Life, To Choose Direction, To Give Me Orgasms.