I Used To Think That Nails-down-a-chalkboard Was

Our Culture's Obsession With Vintage Objects Has Rendered Us Unable To Separate History From Nostalgia. People Want Heart. They Want A Chaser Of Emotion With Their Aesthetics.

I Find That Anything Culturally Significant That Happened Before '93 I Associate With The Decade Before It. In Fact, Oregon Trail Is One Of A Handful Of Signposts That Middle School Existed At All.

A Lot Of People Are Lonely. A Lot Of People Are Lonely Even When They're Surrounded By Other People.

There's Already A Marriage Clock, A Career Clock, A Biological Clock. Sometimes Being A Woman Feels Like Standing In The Lobby Of A Hotel, Looking At The Dials Depicting Every Time Zone In The World Behind The Front Desk - Except They All Apply To You, And All At Once.

The Children Were Overwhelmingly Morbid. Not A Single Adult Asked Me Where Butterflies Go When They Die, But This Question Was More Popular Than Pixie Sticks With The Under-four-foot Set. I Cursed Parents For Not Preparing Their Children. When I Was Five, My Mother And Sister Sat Me Up On The Kitchen Counter And Explained The Facts Of Life: The Easter Bunny Didn't Exist, Elijah Was God's Invisible Friend, With Any Luck Nana Would Die Soon, And If I Ever Saw A Unicorn, I Should Kill It Or Catch It For Cash. I Turned Out Okay.