I Try To Be Alert And Available.

Buddy Hackett [was] Talking - This Is Hackett, Not Me - About The Virgin Mary, A Limerick Sort Of Thing, And All These Children And Families ... The Look Of Absolute Horror. He's Going On And On And On, And Finally He Stops. It's Just Total Horror, And The Camera's Still Rolling. You Can Hear It, Sort Of A Grinding Noise. And The Director Says, "anything Else, Bud?"

There's Only A Couple Times When Fame Is Ever Helpful. Sometimes You Can Get Into A Restaurant Where The Kitchen Is Just Closing. Sometimes You Can Avoid A Traffic Violation. But The Only Time It Really Matters Is In The Emergency Room With Your Kids. That's When You Want To Be Noticed, Because It's Very Easy To Get Forgotten In An Er.

You Know How Funerals Are Not For The Dead, They’re For The Living? Bachelor Parties Are Not For The Groom, They’re For The Uncommitted.

There's Definitely A Lot Of Trash That Comes With The Prize Of Being Famous. It's A Nice Gift, But There's A Lot Of Wrapping And Paper And Junk To Cut Through. Back Then, When A Movie Came Out And People Saw You On The Street, Their Reaction Was So Supercharged That It Was Scary. It Would Frighten Other People. It Used To Really Rattle Me. I Mean, Everybody Would Love To Have Their Clothes Torn Off By A Mob Of Girls, But Being Screamed At Is Different.

I Don't Have To Take This Abuse From You -- I Have Hundreds Of People Waiting In Line To Abuse Me!