I Try Not To Lie To People

I Know How The Academy Awards Works: It's A Card Game, And I'm In The Toss-up Category.

There's A Difference Between Solitude And Loneliness. I Can Understand The Concept Of Being A Monk For A While.

And Then It Was Like, Wait, You Can Go To College And Study Theater? And Act In Plays? This Is Almost A Racket, You Know. And Then When The Opportunity Came Along To Do It Professionally, I Thought I'd Won The Lottery.

But Television, When I Was Doing It, Was All About Scoring. You Had To Make These Jokes Bang, Do Whatever You Could To Make The Material Really Pop. And If It Didn't, There Was Something Wrong With The Material, Or With You.

I Know The Pope Is Opposed To The Use Of Condoms. All I Can Say Is, I Am A Spiritual Man And I've Been Happily Married For 21 Years. I Don't Even Know What A Condom Is Anymore.