I Tried Very Hard. But I Can't

To Business."tux Dude Extended His Hand. "i Am Prometheus." I Was Too Surprised To Shake."the Fire-stealer Guy?the Chained-to-the-rock-with-the-vultures Guy?" Prometheus Winced. He Touched The Scratches On His Face."please, Don't Mention The Vultures. But Yes, I Stole Fire From The Gods And Gave It To Your Ancestors. In Return, The Ever Merciful Zeus Had Me Chained To A Rock And Tortured For All Eternity.

Frank Couldn't Breathe Underwater. But Where Was He? Percy Turned In A Full Circle. Nothing. Then He Glanced Up. Hovering Above Him Was A Giant Goldfish. Frank Had Turned -clothes, Backpack, And All- Into A Koi The Size Of A Teen-aged Boy. "dude." Percy Sent His Thoughts Through The Water, The Way He Spoke To Other Sea Creatures. "a Goldfish?" Frank's Voice Came Back To Him: "i Freaked. We Were Talking About Goldfish, So It Was On My Mind. Sue Me.

All I Heard Was The Blood Rushing Through My Ears, And The Distant Rumble And Crackle Of The Lake Of Fire. (and Khufu Scratching Himself And Grunting, But That Was Nothing New.)

Grover Wore His Fake Feet And His Pants To Pass As Human. He Wore A Green Rasta-style Cap, Because When It Rained His Curly Hair Flattened And You Could Just See The Tips Of His Horns. His Bright Orange Backpack Was Full Of Scrap Metal And Apples To Snack On. In His Pocket Was A Set Of Reed Pipes His Daddy Goat Had Carved For Him, Even Though He Only Knew Two Songs: Mozart's Piano Concerto No. 12 And Hilary Duff's "so Yesterday," Both Of Which Sounded Pretty Bad On Reed Pipes.

You Can Tell The Future?' 'more Like The Future Mugs Me From Time To Time.' Rachel Said 'i Speak Prophecies. The Oracle Spirit Kind Of Hijacks Me Once In A While, And Speaks Important Stuff That Doesn't Make Any Sense To Anybody. But Yeah, The Prophecies Tell The Future.