I Thought, While They're Up And Firm,

Now All Of A Sudden I'm So Less Interested In Pretending To Be A Lot Of Other People, And Much More Interested In Being Me.

I Respect So Much The Work That So Many Women Do, But That's Just Not What I Do. I Have A Job Where I Advertise Yogurt That Makes You Poop, And People Love It And Tell Me About Their Bowel Movements, Every Day.

I Don't Think Any Woman Wants To Be Known For Being Beautiful Or Busty. I Think You Want To Be Known For Who You Are.

So, Am I Friendly With My Daughter And Her Friends? Yes. Am I Their Friend? No. Does She Shut The Door? Yes, And I Very Much Support The Shut Door.

We Sit At Our Consoles And Play "gears Of War", But We Don't See Images From War. We Don't Turn On The News And See The Evidence Of War, The Result Of War. Maybe Twice A Year, Memorial Day, Veterans Day, We'll Go Out, We'll Hang Our Flags, We'll Try To Inculcate In Our Children Some Sense Of National Honor For The Fallen. But Really, We Don't See It. We Just Don't See The Pictures. There's No Drive-by On The Freeway Of Death Up Close. So We Don't Really See Bravery.