I Think The Key Attributes For A

Let's Face It: I Am Not A Professional Runner.

I Often Tell Audiences At The Start Of My Shows That I'm Not Gay Because I've Got Petitions From Lesbian Groups Saying 'can You Tell People You're Heterosexual Because You're Giving Us A Bad Name.'

There Are Lots Of People Who Believe That Caricature Of Me The Tabloids Created, So They Think They Don't Like Me.

Fat People Are Brilliant In Bed. If I'm Sitting On Top Of You, Who's Going To Argue?

When I Got Married, The Sun Ran The Headline: "here Comes The Bride, All Fat And Wide." Luckily, It Was A Few Days After The Wedding - But It Was Still Hideous To Read At A Great Romantic Moment.