I Think That If People Are Having

Oh, The Protestants Hate The Catholics/ And The Catholics Hate The Protestants/ And The Hindus Hate The Muslims/ And Everybody Hates The Jews.

Some Of You May Have Met Mathematicians And Wondered How They Got That Way.

I Recall This Sergeant's Informing Me And My "room-mates" Of This Rather Deplorable Fact The Army Didn't Have Any Official, Excuse Me, Didn't Have No Official Song And Suggested That We Work On This In Our Copious Free Time.

I Ache For The Touch Of Your Lips Dear, But Much More For The Touch Of Your Whips Dear.

The People Who Came To Hear Me Perform Or To Buy My Records Were Not The Type Who Would Be Offended [by The Song 'the Vatican Rag']. But I Gather That There Were Other People Who Were Offended.