I Think Sometimes People Think Cheerful Is

In My Writers' Room, Which Is Mostly Men, I Get A Lot Of Questions Like "what Would Be The Quickest Way To Pass As A Seemingly Normal Guy Between The Ages Of Twenty-five And Forty Years Old?"

I Would Say That My Mother Is The Single Biggest Role Model In My Life, But That Term Doesn't Seem To Encompass Enough When I Use It About Her. She Was The Love Of My Life.

I Guess Nothing Puts A Damper On A One-night Stand As Much As Your Friend Pointing Out All The Opportunities Where You Might Have Been Killed.

When I Was Twenty-five, I Went On Exactly Four Dates With A Much Older Guy Whom I'll Call Peter Parker. I'm Calling Him Peter Parker Because The Actual Guy's Name Was Also Alliterative, And Because, Well, It's My Book And I'll Name A Guy I Dated After Spider-man's Alter Ego If I Want To.

I Have A Personality Defect Where I Refuse To See Myself As An Underdog.