I Strapped An Mp3 Player To One

At The Risk Bragging, One Of The Things I'm Best At Is Riding Coattails. Behind Every Successful Man Is Me, Smiling And Taking Partial Credit.

Most People Would Say 'the Deets', But I Say 'the Tails'. Just Another Example Of Innovation.

I Know When Someone That's Not You Tries To Tell Your Story, Especially When You Don't Look Like The Person Whose Story You're Trying To Tell, You're Going To Screw It Up. And The Only Way To Get It Right Is To Have Them Be As Involved As Possible.

What If I Couldn't Read? I Wouldn't Be Able To Text My Friends Movie Times Or Even Order Cheese Biscuits From Red Lobster!

Stand-up Comedy Is A Raunchy Profession.