I Strapped An Mp3 Player To One

Everyone Steals. My Favorite Movie Is Love Don't Cost A Thing With Nick Cannon. Which Is Based On Can't Buy Me Love, Which Is Based On Kramer Vs. Kramer, Or Something, Which I Think Was Shakespeare.

The Problem Is There's A New Group. I'm Talking About This Tiny Slice Of People That Have Gotten Way Too Fired Up About The Trump Thing For The Wrong Reasons. I'm Talking About These People That As Soon As Trump Won, They're Like, We Don't Have To Pretend Like We're Not Racist Anymore. We Don't Have To Pretend Anymore. We Can Be Racist Again. Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, No, No. If You're One Of These People, Please Go Back To Pretending.

I Think Absurdist Humor Is Funny.

Do You Realize How Much Better The World Would Be If We All Just Treated Each Other The Same Way Black Dudes Treat Magicians?

Do It Under The Influence Yourself! That's What We're Shooting For! Get Drunk And Make Your Dreams Come True.