I Stood On Susan Boone's Front Porch,

Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself.

Great. Now I Was Starting To Get Jealous Of Myself.

He'd Know That I Think That . . . Well, That Bending An Enemy's Will Through Military Force Is The Absolute Last Way A Nation Ought To Go About Solving Their Problems.

Didn't Your Mother Ever Tell You," Rob Asked, "that You're Supposed To Play Hard To Get?" I Looked At His Lips. I Probably Don't Need To Tell You That They're Really Nice Lips, Kind Of Full And Strong-looking. "what," I Wanted To Know, "is That Going To Get Me?

Also, I Think I Felt Something Come Loose Back There. I'm Not Trying To Overreact Or Anything But I Think It Was My Uterus. Honest. I Think My Uterus Jiggled Free. My Uterus Is Just Going To Come Out Between My Legs And I'm Going To Look Like I'm Walking Around With An Enormous Load In My Pants.