I Seek The Substantial In Life.

I Asked A French Critic A Couple Of Years Ago Why My Books Did So Well In France. He Said It Was Because In My Novels People Both Act And Think. I Got A Kick Out Of That.

Sometimes The Only Answer To Death Is Lunch.

I'd Rather Get A Brain Tumor Than Go Back To Teaching.

The Wife Picked Out Ceramic Tile For Floor Covering, Not Realizing That Cost Was Determined By Square Foot, Not Square Yard Like Carpet. Thinking The Price Was Plenty Reasonable, She Had An Extra Room Of Tile Ordered For Installation. When The Bill Arrived, It Was Staggering. She And Her Husband Began A Fight That Continued All Through The Construction Job. They Ended Up Divorced, But Not Until She Had Broken Every Window.

The Only Advice I Can Give To Aspiring Writers Is Don't Do It Unless You're Willing To Give Your Whole Life To It. Red Wine And Garlic Also Helps.