I Remember My Comic Strips Being Called

Sometimes, I Think The Only Art Left For Us Is Slowly Peeling The Label Off A Beer Bottle While Somebody Tells You About A Dream They Had.

The Thing I Call ‘my Mind’ Seems To Be Kind Of Like A Landlord That Doesn’t Really Know Its Tenants.

When We Finish A Book, Why Do We Hold It In Both Hands And Gaze At It As If It Were Somehow Alive?

I Listen Like Mad To Any Conversation Taking Place Next To Me Just Trying To Hear Why This Is Funny. Women's Restrooms Are Especially Great. I Wash My Hands Twice Waiting For People To Come In And Start Talking.

Going On Letterman Is Like Going Off The High Dive. It's Exhilarating, But After A While It Wasn't The Kind Of Thrill I Enjoyed.