I Really Love Cursing A Lot. But

I Had A Gentleman In College Tell Me, During A Date, That I Could Be Really Pretty If I Lost Some Weight. On A Date!

Even When I Was At 'snl,' I Didn't Do Impersonations. I Always Wanted To Be The Kind Of Person Who Could Do Them - I Always Thought They Were The Coolest Thing On The Show - But I Didn't Have Any Experience.

Ah, Babies! They’re More Than Just Adorable Little Creatures On Whom You Can Blame Your Farts.

I Like To Crack The Jokes Now And Again, But It's Only Because I Struggle With Math.

I Became Immersed In The Cult Of Improvisation. I Was Like One Of Those Athletes Trying To Get Into The Olympics. It Was All About Blind Focus. I Was So Sure That I Was Doing Exactly What I'd Been Put On This Earth To Do, And I Would Have Done Anything To Make It Onto That Stage.