I Realize That I Can Be With

My Mother's Life Was Way Too Heavy For Me.

Up Until Then I'd Thought That White People And Colored People Getting Along Was The Big Aim, But After That I Decided Everybody Being Colorless Together Was A Better Plan. I Thought Of That Policeman, Eddie Hazelwurst, Saying I'd Lowered Myself To Be In This House Of Colored Women, And For The Very Life Of Me I Couldn't Understand How It Had Turned Out This Way, How Colored Women Had Become The Lowest Ones On The Totem Pole. You Only Had To Look At Them To See How Special They Were, Like Hidden Royalty Among Us. Eddie Hazelwurst. What A Shitbucket.

I Hadn't Been Out To The Hives Before, So To Start Off She Gave Me A Lesson In What She Called 'bee Yard Etiquette'. She Reminded Me That The World Was Really One Bee Yard, And The Same Rules Work Fine In Both Places. Don't Be Afraid, As No Life-loving Bee Wants To Sting You. Still, Don't Be An Idiot; Wear Long Sleeves And Pants. Don't Swat. Don't Even Think About Swatting. If You Feel Angry, Whistle. Anger Agitates While Whistling Melts A Bee's Temper. Act Like You Know What You're Doing, Even If You Don't. Above All, Send The Bees Love. Every Little Thing Wants To Be Loved.

Journal Became A Sanctuary Where I Could Pour Out In Honesty My Pain And Joy. It Recorded My Footsteps And Helped Me Understand Where I Was Standing, Where I Had Been, And Even Where God Pointed.

We Need Goddess Consciousness To Reveal Earth's Holiness. Divine Feminine Imagery Opens Up The Notion That The Earth Is The Body Of The Divine, And When That Happens, The Divine Cannot Be Contained Solely In A Book, Church, Dogma, Liturgy, Theological System, Or Transcendent Spirituality. The Earth Is No Longer A Mere Backdrop Until We Get To Heaven, Something Secondary And Expendable. Mater Becomes Inspirited; It Breathes Divinity. Earth Comes Alive And Sacred. And We Find Ourselves Alive In The Midst Of Her And Forever Altered.