I Quite Fancy The 1940s. I Like

I Have No Qualifications To Do Anything Else And There Weren't Any Formal Application Forms You Had To Fill In For Stand-up, So I Thought I'd Give That A Twist.

I'm Just A Guy Who Happens To Work In Public From Time To Time. I've Built A Reputation As An Established Comic, Not As A Celebrity - A Celebrity Is Someone Who Is Famous But Doesn't Do Anything.

Vodka Is A Very Deceptive Drink, Because You Drink It And You Think, "what Is This? This Is Pointless! It's - You Can't Taste It, You Can't Smell It... Why Did We Waste Our Money On This, Bloody - Why Are We On A Traffic Island?"

You've A Very Important, Early Decision To Make In Your Life: Are You Going To Be Alone, Or Are You Going To Be With Somebody Else? Are You Going To Be Sane, Or Not Lonely? A Couple Is A Strange Thing; It's An Organism That's Half As Intelligent As The Most Intelligent Member. And You Both Know Who It Is!

I Never Thought I Want To Do Anything, Really, Except Not Go To Work Properly And Turn Up At The Same Place Every Day And Eat Sandwiches In The Same Canteen, If I Can Possibly Help It, As I Don't Think I'd Be Very Good At It.