I Prefer Dead Writers Because You Don't

Smoking Is, As Far As I Am Concerned, The Entire Point Of Being An Adult. Many People Find Smoking Objectionable. I Myself Find Many - Even More - Things Objectionable. I Do Not Like Aftershave Lotion, Adults Who Roller-skate, Children Who Speak French, Or Anyone Who Is Unduly Tan. I Do Not, However, Go Around Enacting Legislation And Putting Up Signs.

Japanese Food Is Very Pretty And Undoubtedly A Suitable Cuisine In Japan, Which Is Largely Populated By People Of Below Average Size. Hostesses Hell-bent On Serving Such Food To Occidentals Would Be Well Advised To Supplement It With Something More Substantial And To Keep In Mind That Almost Everybody Likes French Fries.

I Hate All Jobs. I've Never Had A Job I Liked.

The Best Fame Is A Writer's Fame. It's Enough To Get A Table At A Good Restaurant, But Not Enough To Get You Interrupted When You Eat.

When You Leave New York, You Are Astonished At How Clean The Rest Of The World Is. Clean Is Not Enough.