I Prefer Dead Writers Because You Don't

I Don't Care If New York Avoided Bankruptcy By Substituting Tourism For The Garment Business.

Never Relinquish Clothing To A Hotel Valet Without First Specifically Telling Him That You Want It Back.

Breakfast Cereals That Come In The Same Colors As Polyester Leisure Suits Make Oversleeping A Virtue.

To Me The Biggest Waste Of Time Is Commuting. First, There Is No Place That Is Less Than A Two-hour Commute From New York. You Can Be Half A Mile Outside Of The City Limits; You're Two Hours Away By Car. I Don't Care How Close They Tell You It Is. "oh, It's Only Thirty Miles." Thirty Miles? At 8:30 In The Morning, Thirty Miles Outside New York, You Might As Well Be Starting Out In Omaha.

Generally Speaking, The Poorer Person Summers Where He Winters.