I Plodded Conscientiously Through The Twenty-six Letters,

If You Are Foolish Enough To Be Contented, Don't Show It, But Grumble With The Rest; And If You Can Do With A Little, Ask For A Great Deal. Because If You Don't You Won't Get Any.

I Saw A Great Newfoundland Dog The Other Day Sitting In Front Of A Mirror At The Entrance To A Shop In Regent's Circus, And Examining Himself With An Amount Of Smug Satisfaction That I Have Never Seen Equaled Elsewhere Outside A Vestry Meeting.

Think Of The Man Who First Tried German Sausage.

People Who Have Tried It, Tell Me That A Clear Conscience Makes You Very Happy And Contented; But A Full Stomach Does The Business Quite As Well, And Is Cheaper, And More Easily Obtained.

The Shy Man Does Have Some Slight Revenge Upon Society For The Torture It Inflicts Upon Him. He Is Able, To A Certain Extent, To Communicate His Misery. He Frightens Other People As Much As They Frighten Him. He Acts Like A Damper Upon The Whole Room, And The Most Jovial Spirits Become, In His Presence, Depressed And Nervous.