I Never Wanted To Be Famous And

No Wonder You Guys Lost.

I Don't Think We [the Usa] Need More Troops. I Think We Need To Be Less Worried About Civilian Casualties.

There Are Always Going To Be Muslim Atrocities! Whenever The Media Starts Obsessing With Isis, I Think You're Hiding Something.

Harvard Graduates Just Cannot Shake The Idea That They Know Better Than Everyone Else What's Best For Us And That They're Capable Of Running A Mammoth, Unwieldy Government Program Providing Each One Of Us With The Precise Health Insurance We Need, At A Good Price, With No Waste Or Fraud. Trust Them, They Worked It All Out On Paper Their Junior Year.

That Is Obama's Signature Move: Invent People Who Are Saying Ridiculous Things And Then Encourage The Audience To Laugh At These Made-up Buffoons.