I Never Tire Of Reading Tom Paine.

It Is Said An Eastern Monarch Once Charged His Wise Men To Invent Him A Sentence To Be Ever In View, And Which Should Be True And Appropriate In All Times And Situations. They Presented Him The Words, "and This Too, Shall Pass Away." How Much It Expresses! How Chastening In The Hour Of Pride! How Consoling In The Depths Of Affliction!

When You Have Got A Ticket To Send, And You're Not A Top Costumer, It's Best Not To Waste Your Time.

Laughter Can Be Used To Sooth The Mind And Get Rid Of Those Awful Thoughts.

As A Nation, We Began By Declaring That 'all Men Are Created Equal.' We Now Practically Read It 'all Men Are Created Equal, Except Negroes.' When The Know-nothings Get Control, It Will Read 'all Men Are Created Equal, Except Negroes, And Foreigners, And Catholics.' When It Comes To This I Should Prefer Emigrating To Some Country Where They Make No Pretense Of Loving Liberty – To Russia, For Instance, Where Despotism Can Be Taken Pure, And Without The Base Alloy Of Hypocrisy.

Were It Not For My Little Jokes, I Could Not Bear The Burdens Of This Office.