I Mean, I Think I Am Basically

Better To End This Dream Before It Becomes A Nightmare.

You Know The Reason The Beatles Made It So Big?...'i Wanna Hold Your Hand.' First Single....brilliant. Perhaps The Most...brilliant Song Ever Written. Because They Nailed It. That's What Everyone Wants. Not 24/7 Hot Wet Sex. Not A Marriage That Lasts A Hundred Years. Not A Porsche...or A Million-dollar Crib. No. They Wanna Hold Your Hand. They Have Such A Feeling That They Can't Hide. Every Single Successful Song Of The Past Fifty Years Can Be Traced Back To 'i Wanna Hold Your Hand.' And Every Single Successful Love Story Has Those Unbearable And Unbearably Exciting Moments Of Hand-holding.

Because I Withered Under The Glare Of An Actual Invitation, I Was A Firm Believer In Preventive Prevarication--in Other Words, Lying Early In Order To Free Myself Later On.

I'm Liking That I Can Throw Any Kind Of Sentence At Her Without Worrying It's Too Out There.

Perhaps It's Not That I'm Frigid-- It's That Once I Decide I Like A Guy, I Turn Into A Raging Idiot, Unfit For Public Appearances.