I Love Poking Fun At Myself. I

My Feeling Has Always Been That 'good Eats' Would Have Never Happened Had It Been Left To A Committee.

The Turkey - My Number One Thing That People Don't Get Is Take That Sucker Out Of The Refrigerator About Three Hours Before You Plan On Cooking It.

What Happens Is That In Each Clump You've Got The Gelatinization Of Starches, Which Happens Very Quickly At The Surface Of The Clump And It Kind Of Forms A Protective Skin Around This Dry Hunk Of Flour.

I Found That If I Offered To Cook For A Girl, My Odds Improved Radically Over Simply Asking A Girl Out. Through My Efforts To Attract The Opposite Sex, I Found That Not Only Did Cooking Work, But That It Was Actually Fun.

I Know People That Could Serve Me Canned Tuna And Saltine Crackers And Have Me Feel More At Home At Their Table Than Some People Who Can Cook Circles Around Me. The More You Try To Impress People, Generally The Less You Do.