I Love Cop Shows And Crime Books

Begin Your Story With A Sentence That Will Immediately Grab Hold Of Your Listener's Ears Like A Surly Nun In A Catholic School.

I Listen. I Like To Give Advice. Mostly, Ill Just Try To Listen To My Friends, And Theyll Say The Same Thing Over And Over Again.

Fire Had An Almost Magical Quality That Suggested Anything Was Possible. Early On, Man Even Believed That Fire Was A God That Had To Be Fed With Animal Sacrifices In Order To Burn Brightly. Today We Have Evolved A Long Way From This Ridiculous Notion Of A 'fire God' And Now Rightfully Understand God To Be A Bearded Being Who Lives Amongst The Clouds And Hates Jews And Homosexuals.

My Favorite Things Often Have A Story Behind Them And Are Usually Handmade Or Discovered At A Flea Market.

I Like To Play Unattractive People Who Think They're Pretty. You Can Do What You Want, But I Prefer To Look Interesting.